Have a happy academic holiday

happy academic holiday

Take a break and chill because this is the time of the year to rejoice, celebrate and also feel rewarded.”~Anonymous

The end is in sight for the fall semester. We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Everyone, it seems, started this semester tired, worn out by the demands of handling pandemic safety with unclear requirements, difficult situations related to hybrid classes, burnt-out staff, teachers struggling with packed schedules, combined with distracted, unmotivated, and unprepared students. It’s been rough. We all want a happy academic holiday.

As the winter holidays approach and darkness envelops the northern hemisphere, let’s take a moment to stop and reflect on going forward with greater ease and happiness. When you’re an academic, the holidays can make you as grumpy as the Grinch, trying to juggle the usual competing demands of teaching (especially grading), service, and research this time of year with the needs of your loved ones for some special time together.

I struggle with balance myself. Some around me might even say I struggle with boundaries, though I am aware of this issue and work hard to maintain the boundaries I have set for myself. Sometimes that means I spend more time on my work than those around me would prefer, but I am being true to my own priorities, and still find time for loved ones. So, I am sharing my list of do’s and don’ts for this season in the hope that these reminders may prove useful in creating greater happiness and help ease us into the new academic year refreshed.

The don’ts

I always need to remind myself not to overdo things this time of year: not to go overboard with scheduling events, even when they are fun; not to overspend and find myself owing more money than I want going into the new year; and not to get hung up on making everything perfect but accept the reality of changing plans and limited time for everything; and not overeating and dealing with the unwanted results of overindulging.

Translating this to an academic situation means not going to every event you are invited to, not spending money you don’t have on small gifts for everyone in your community, and recognizing that you are only one person with a limited capacity to handle every single thing you are asked to do and being willing to say “I’ve done enough,” and overindulging in the fantasy of assuming you will have big blocks of time to write only to be profoundly disappointed when the spring semester arrives.

The do’s to help you have a happy academic holiday

  1. Explain what you do to loved ones. Karen Rodham, professor of health psychology at Staffordshire University suggests that before the holidays, you take a bit of time to explain to your family and other close to you what you do for a living. You might be surprised at how little they know about what you do on a day-to-day basis. Explaining the seasonal rhythm of classes, exams, grading and working in research and writing to a busy teaching schedule can be quite eye opening for people outside academia. Just understanding the nature of the demands on your time can help your loved ones let go just a little of being irritated with your periodic unavailability.
  2. Be realistic. Given the finite nature of time, set a priority list for yourself. As I have often said, “You cannot manage time, you can only manage what you do in the time that is available to you.” Your list needs to include eating, sleeping, exercising, and socializing with your loved ones, along with getting work done. Is a big holiday dinner with many guests a priority in your household? Better block off the preparation time instead of assuming you can do what you like with that time. Ask yourself, “What is the minimum I can actually get done related to my work and still feel good about the holiday break?”
  3. Communicate early. Letting the folks around you know early what your plans are will take away much of the stress. Loved ones find it easier to accept “It’s Friday morning, and you may remember I blocked off four hours for writing today,” than if you suddenly spring this schedule on them when a trip to a gingerbread house was planned for the kids. If you really want to get some writing done over the break, schedule it, and share the plan. Stick to being available when you have said you will be available, and you will avert a lot of emotional pain.
  4. Completely step away from work at times. Give yourself some good long breaks completely away from the work. You may only feel you can do this for a couple of days, but even that is better than no time off at all. If you can take a week, so much the better. Stop writing, don’t answer work calls, don’t check your email. Put an “away message” on your signature line even if you are staying at home. Have an excuse ready when someone asks you to attend a holiday party you neither want nor have time to attend. It’s OK to simply say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I have a conflict with that time.” You don’t need to explain what it is.
  5. Let people help you. One of the great joys of my life was watching my girls learn to cook and plan holiday meals. They knew they were doing something valuable for me by freeing up time for me to work on the pieces I could not put down. This was a wonderful holiday gift for all of us. Some of the cooking failures, like zucchini bread made without baking soda which still tasted great, made for the best holiday stories to tell each other in later years.
  6. Find what you enjoy. Sometimes we all feel like giving the “bah, humbug” response of Ebenezer Scrooge to Christmas, but it may just make you feel bad about yourself. Find the parts of the holiday season you enjoy. Maybe it’s the music or the lights or being outside in the cold. Maybe there is a holiday tradition special to your family, perhaps a certain holiday movie you watch every year together. Maybe it’s cards and letters from friends. Whatever it is, find that piece to celebrate. Think about the stories you want to share about past holidays and make some happy memories. If you remind yourself of what is going well in the holiday season, it should lesson any angst you feel.

So finish up your classes and enjoy a well-deserved happy academic holiday!

If you are still struggling during the holiday season schedule a complimentary 20-minute session with Hillary.

 

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