How to stop your weaknesses from bringing you downWhat happens to you when you realize you aren’t good at something that would be helpful to you in your career? Say mathematical modeling or writing clear reports. Do you invest in training to learn how to do it better? Or throw up your hands in despair and say, “I’m too stupid to get this.”  It’s time to change!

For most of us, trying to improve our weak areas in teaching our classes, operating our business, or managing our department comes with the territory. Whatever the area, we feel as if we are required to do battle with what we don’t do well. I spent more time than I care to remember trying to master Excel, but it never excited me.

As it turns out, the majority of people around the world feel this way. In their groundbreaking book Now, Discover Your Strengths authors Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton reported that across all ages and cultures in their 2 million Gallup poll interviews, people were more concerned about their weaknesses than their strengths. We believe that our weaknesses matter more in holding us back than our strengths matter in advancing us.

That’s nonsense, say the authors—widely held nonsense, but nonsense nonetheless. In their provocative theory, they suggest that the better strategy is to play to your strengths, building upon your core talents, and work around your weaknesses. You can add skills and knowledge to increase your performance in any area, but unless you are building upon one of your innate talents (aka strengths), your efforts won’t produce exceptional results—some results, yes, but not dramatic improvement.

What kind of energy are you feeling?

In their book, strength is defined as “consistent near perfect performance in an activity.” The key here is consistency, and the “acid test” the authors suggest using is: Can you imagine yourself doing this activity (teaching, golfing, managing a department) repeatedly, happily and successfully? If you actually feel good when you perform an activity, chances are you are operating from strength. Only you know what you truly enjoy doing.

On the other hand, if imagining performing the activity drains you of energy, then you are not operating from strength. If you then proceed to beat yourself up for NOT performing well when you are operating from weakness, you are making up a bad story about yourself that will not serve you well in the long run. The weakness orientation persists in research and academia to the detriment of people working there. In every culture these authors studied, the majority of parents focused attention on areas where a child did not do well in school, rather than focusing on what a child did do well and had the potential to grow into excellence.

What happens when you let go of the “oughts?”

Operating from weakness is a confidence assassin. Identify your dominant talents first. These are your strengths. What do you do easily, naturally, and well? What do people tell you that you are good at? Know that you can always refine your talents with knowledge and skills, and that you can always outsource the weaknesses, and people will say you are a great delegator!

This self-awareness will help you get rid of all the “shoulds” you may be telling yourself about your life. Letting go of what doesn’t work is wonderfully liberating and energizing.

It will also help you know and appreciate the talents and strengths of the people around you. Start telling yourself about your strengths and acknowledge what you do well, whether it’s strategy, project management, teaching or writing. As Shad Helmstetter, author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself wrote: “Of all the self-help concepts I have uncovered, the concept of ‘programming’ the brain with a more successful ‘new’ picture of yourself is the most sensible… that whatever you put into your mind–in one way or another–is what you will get back out–in one way or another.”

 

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