Are you suffering from overexposure to fear? 5 ways to get over fearfulness

get over fearfulness

“The only thing we have to fear is…fear itself.”~Franklin D. Roosevelt, March 4, 1933

I personally am suffering from an overexposure to fear: Weary yet scared of the coronavirus pandemic, nervous about vaccine efficacy, worried about the seemingly insurmountable political divide, fear of the physical harm that can be done by opposing sides…the list goes on and on. Not to mention my own brief encounter with possible death in the form of acute appendicitis. In my case, fear prompted a visit to the emergency room and laparoscopic surgery to remove an inflamed appendix before it burst. An effective case of fear promoting crucial action.

The role of fear in evolution is to promote survival. Many animals are genetically programmed to fear their predators. When Ebola exploded across West Africa a few years ago, the word “fearbola” was invented to describe the perception of risk. Coronavirus is similar, in that it hits all of our evolutionary fear buttons: It’s unfamiliar, exotic in origin, invisible to human eyes, and scarily arbitrary in transmission and health consequences. You could say the same about many of the other fears I just named.

We are all exhausted from trying to stay safe. We are finding it hard to concentrate, get work done, yet feeling listless and edgy at the same time. For educators at all levels, distracted students seem to be mentally checking out of courses earlier than in past semesters. The energy of connecting in person is lost, making everyone sad. Social interactions are important for our mental health, and disorders like depression are associated with dysfunction of dopamine neurons. Feeling sad because you miss physical interaction with other people is not just in your head. You are missing the feel-good dopamine hit you would get if you were connecting with real people in real-time.

“Fearbola” problems are particularly acute for female academics. Family life can be remarkably visible on Zoom, as some four-year-old child wanders into the picture and interrupts a meeting. To paraphrasing what several female professors have said, “I feel constantly judged, and that my parenting skills on display have been found wanting.” Gender bias is already well documented in end-of-semester student evaluations, and it may be even worse with virtual teaching. The longer we stay in the hybrid world, the bigger the problems seem to get, between less time to write, more time needed for childcare, and the stress of trying to teach in two places at once.

So, what can you do when fear starts to get the better of you?

The answer is, “Bring the better parts of you back.” Here are some basic things you can do to renew your energy, feel more in control, return to gratitude, and generally enhance your own well-being.

1)     Take care of your body

Go back to basics by sleeping enough, eating right, and exercising. I recommend taking a walk. The Romantic poets (approximately 1800 to 1850) celebrated wandering in nature as a way to clear the mind and become more creative. You may not be able to roam the Cotswolds, but just getting outside without using an electronic device can be helpful to easing your mind and giving your imagination a little more breathing space. Given all of your competing responsibilities, it can be hard to take care of yourself. Hard, but necessary. There’s a reason the airlines always exhort you to put on your own mask first. You can’t help anyone else if you are out of commission.

2)     Limit your news intake

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Stop doomscrolling. Too much negative news can overload your emotions and drain your energy. Limit the time you spend reading the news each day. Recognize the rabbit holes that social media can take you down. Acknowledge the addictive nature of social media and remind yourself it was designed that way. Resist the clickbait. Maybe even take a day off from the news, or even two, and see if it helps you feel better. Trust me, if anything truly significant happens you will know. Every possible outlet will be talking about it.

3)     Consciously lower your stress

The body will produce hormones like adrenaline and cortisol in response to stress. These hormones trigger the fight-freeze-flight responses, altering blood pressure, heart rates, and blood vessels. They also limit the parts of the brain that control memory and decision making. If sustained over long periods of time, your physiology will fail to return to normal and you may end up with a compromised immune system.

To lower your stress, find activities that calm you down or bring you joy whether that’s cooking a fancy meal, watching a bird at a feeder, practicing meditation for 15 minutes, or watching a comedy with a loved one. Humor is an amazing antidote to stress, and why we have “black humor” to deal with serious or depressing topics. Sometimes fear and anxiety can make our minds leap to the worst scenario, even if it’s most unlikely. You might become plagued with “what if” thoughts. Try catching those negative thoughts and replacing them with more realistic statements. For example, replace thoughts about acquiring COVID-19 with positive self-talk about what you’re doing to stay safe. Refocus your mind and energy on things you can do to feel better.

4)     Socialize with other people

Yes, it’s true that Zoom happy hours cannot substitute for the real thing with real people at a real venue. But you should still do it. Isolation has been proven to cause adverse health consequences and impairs immunity.  The Center for Disease Control reports isolation as associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke. Loneliness is also associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. We need other people to reinforce our sense of belonging and reduce our fear. Just knowing there are other people in the same boat helps us float more easily. Add refreshing activities that can be done as a group or in a family, like game night or watching a movie together. One of my social groups is a “Sci-Fi Potluck” evening (sans potluck these days) that meets about once a month to discuss a sci-fi movie we chose to watch at the previous meeting. It is fun to be with friends and engage in a little intellectual dissection of whether or not the premise of the movie holds up.

Don’t forget the opportunities to gather outside. We purchased a “fire bowl,” a much cheaper, portable, and smaller version of a built-in fire pit. Having friends over gives us a chance to meet with real people outside and share some time together. There are also many restaurants that now have outdoor venues and that too can give you a way to meet with friends for a shared activity. Many people in my area never stopped playing tennis with friends or fishing off of the piers while staying socially distanced.

5)     Deal directly with conflicting emotions

It’s normal to feel bad about all of the bad stuff going on. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be a very compassionate human being. It’s normal to be fearful when fearful things are rearing their ugly heads and undermining your faith in the goodness of the world. Take heart. Take heart literally by opening your body up instead of curling in. Expand your chest. Breathe deeply. Use your senses to notice all the good surrounding you right now. Sunlight, air, flowers, neighbors, kindness, laughter, animals of every kind. We have a lot to be grateful for in our life. Courage is often defined as “feeling the fear and doing it anyway.” That’s pretty much where we all are right now. Going forward while experiencing anxiety. Who knows? You might be the one your grandchildren hear about as an example of how to deal with adversity in a positive way.

The answer to “What to do when fear gets the upper hand?” is pretty simple. Take stock of what you can control, and what you cannot control. Return to basics, and take positive action concerning the things you can control. Notice what’s working. Notice what’s right in your world and celebrate it. Then let the rest go. According to my sailing father, “There are some things you can only learn in a storm.” Good words to live by in fearful times.

 

 

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