demobbing end of the semester

end of the semester

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with another hello.” — Paulo Coehlo, Paulo Coelho de Souza a Brazilian lyricist and novelist

You may not think of ending the semester in military terms, but right now, the end of the semester feels a bit like the British term “demobbing,” a shortened form of the word demobilization. The word is similar to the American term “discharge from service.” Both essentially mean “separation from previous duties.” Demobbing conjures up images of troops madly rushing from the transport ships to the docks as they celebrate heading home. I think it is an apt idea for the end of the regular school year.

The return to classrooms after the height of the Covid pandemic has been tumultuous, confusing, difficult, and frustrating for students and teachers alike. A lot of ground was lost in terms of learning and the ability to pay attention for any length of time, leaving both students and teachers wrestling with issues around disengagement from each other and the material to be learned.

This does not even take into account the distraction caused by the huge sense of uncertainty hanging over the world as a new war in Europe rages for the first time in 75 years. With war as a backdrop, maybe thinking of yourself as leaving active duty while knowing you are also preparing to be redeployed can be helpful. Taking care of yourself is a great way to prepare for reconnection later.

Here are 7 tips to help disengage at the end of the semester and leave the classroom behind for a little while:

1. Begin with resting

I strongly support this idea. It’s important to find a way to refresh your psyche after a long hard slog. Give yourself time at the end of the semester to relax. If you need to binge-watch for a few days, don’t feel guilty. Just do it. Same for taking naps. Or walks in nature. Whatever refills your well is what you should do.

2. Accept your emotions

You may feel a mix of sadness about leaving the semester behind if you feel like there is unfinished business for you or your students and you may feel excited about the summer stretch before you. It’s perfectly normal to feel more than one thing at once. It’s what we humans do. Me included.

3. Be realistic

Don’t set your expectations too high. Be realistic about what you can accomplish when you need to rest, reconnect with friends and family, and try to get some academic work done. If you are dealing with small kids and summer camp, that’s often more difficult than just dealing with kids during the regular school year. Expect that you will have limited time for writing and plan accordingly.

4. Focus on the good

It’s easy to get caught up in blaming yourself for anything that went wrong over the course of the semester, and start saying, “I should have…” This is exceptionally hard for me. I always feel I should be able to do more, do it better, in less time, and not stress out. Hah. Spare yourself this criticism. Notice instead what went right. You got all your grades in on time. Hallelujah. That’s a positive fact and a win. Most likely you did at least 10 things right for every one thing you did “wrong.” Start naming what you did right and celebrate that.

5. Practice savoring

The end of the semester is the time to savor some downtime. See the sun and the rain, smell the blooming flowers, hear the music you like playing, feel the water flowing over your toes, and eat good food with awareness. If you practice savoring now when you have time, it is but a small matter to begin practicing it regularly in the interstices of your busier life during the regular school year. You may initially find it difficult to practice savoring, but I assure you, it is worth it. Savoring helps when the news is awful, you are feeling overwhelmed by deadlines, or the demands of other people on your time are making you feel unnecessarily guilty.

6. Be patient with yourself

You may feel a bit distant or separated from those around you, not fully integrated into your life, a bit adrift at first without the demands of your previous schedule. Being around family or loved ones more than usual can be hard even when you want to spend time with them. Remind those close to you that you are decompressing, and you will certainly be more fully present once you have a chance to recharge. We all need downtime to get our brains working again after pushing hard for a long time.

7. Practice for the future

Notice what refills your well. Think about what you want to do that you can take forward into the next semester. A once-a-week massage? (I personally aspire to this, but the most I usually manage is once a month.) Playing volleyball with friends? Yoga classes? Coffee alone in a bookshop corner? As long as the activity is something you truly love and want to do, and is not some kind of “should,” as in “I should exercise three times a week,” you have a much better chance of doing it and carrying the practice forward.

In short, do what you can where you are to enjoy your life. Once you are fully rested, you can take on the rest of the world again. Whether that means marching, writing, blogging, teaching, researching, mentoring, parenting, or preparing for the next round of classes. Right now, I am going to take my own advice to rest first and savor the good, by making a cup of hot tea to take onto the porch and look at my potted red hibiscus blooming in the sun.

If you still feel you need help to navigate the end of the semester and what lies ahead contact Hillary for a FREE twenty-minute session.

 

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